I’m having somewhat of an “inner battle” right now. Before I explain why, I’ll tell you something about myself – I don’t like my personal life interfering with my professional life. I’ve never been one to open up at work, because I prefer to keep a professional relationship with my coworkers. I also do not like feeling like I’m using my personal life as an excuse at work.
Now to the reason for my turmoil. Today, my “boss” (not really, but it’s hard to explain, so it’s easier just to call him that) asked me to go on a work related trip down to Virginia in a few weeks. I said sure, because I couldn’t think of a valid reason to say no. Well, I came home and found out Mike made an appointment with the urologist for right in the middle of my trip. I thought no big deal, I don’t have to be there, right? Wrong. The urologist would like to see us both.
There are several options here. Option A) We can move the appointment, which I really really do not want to do. Option B) I can tell my “boss” that I have an important appointment that will possibly determine if my husband’s infertility can be fixed and I’d rather not go on the trip, which if you read the tidbit about myself above you’ll understand why I’d rather not use this option. And Option C) Just don’t go to the appointment. I mean, how much do they really need me there anyway? What can a urologist do for me? Except that I really really want to go.
Each one of these options sucks in its own way. The first one would delay us finding out something really important about Mike’s infertility by more than a week or so, the second one would violate my rule of not letting my personal life interfere with my professional life, and the third one would mean me missing an appointment that could potentially reveal life changing information regarding the one thing that is most important in my life right now…(A bit dramatic, right?)
So you’re probably still wondering what the big deal is, right? The problem is that the selfish part of me wants to tell work to go screw themselves, that I have personal matters and that takes precedence. But then there is this inner voice that is asking me: “do you really want to focus your whole existence around your infertility?” I mean, isn’t that what I would be doing if I start arranging my life around my infertility appointments? Isn’t it important that I not let this consume me? Shouldn’t I try to maintain a semi-normal existence that is not centered around my infertility problems? So there you have it, my “inner battle”.
Anyone have any advice to offer?