After about 12 weeks into my “pregnancy”, I am finally having my miscarriage. I was beginning to wonder if my body would be able to do it on its own.
I have to say that it was much more painful than I had expected. The doctor had led me to believe that it would be just a little worse than a period. That is such an understatement! I’ve known that it was coming for days now, because I started spotting this past weekend. I woke up at 12:45 this morning with some bad cramps, so I took some ibuprofen thinking that might help them. Silly me. The cramps went from bad to absolutely horrible! It’s nothing I have ever experienced before. Nothing helped. I tried laying down, sitting, curled up into a ball, walking, but they just kept getting worse. At this point, I was passing huge clots of blood. I googled to see if all this was normal, and others were comparing the cramps to labor pain…all I could think is if this is anything like labor, maybe I’m rethinking the whole natural birth thing.
After about two hours of this pain, I had started feeling very nauseous. I decided I couldn’t deal with both cramps and nausea, so I decided to make myself throw up, hoping that would make me feel just a little better. Well, every time I threw up, I felt a gushing of blood. I knew I had went right through my pathetic overnight pads I had bought. When I went to clean myself up, it was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen – the entire gestational sac had expelled itself during my retching episode (at least that what it looked like to me). But…I felt 10 times better. Apparently passing the gestational sac is the worst of it, and it was a stroke of luck that the pressure from throwing up helped push it out. My cramps immediately dissipated. I was actually able to go back to sleep! ….for 2 hours until I woke up in a blood soaked bed.
The blood is now just pouring out, and I can’t even go to bed because of the rate I’m going through my pads. I’ve ruined our sheets, multiple pairs of underwear, and a pair of sweatpants. I’ve gotten a horrible 4 hours of sleep, I still have to go to school today, and my poor husband who was up taking care of me the whole time has to go to work (he just started his new job yesterday). It’s just miserable. The only thing I can be thankful for is that this happened while I was at home, rather than when I was at school. I can honestly say I was not prepared for this. That’s what I get for not doing my own research and just going by what the doctor said.
Sorry if the detail was a little much, but I figured that other women out there may want those type of details. I know I would have found them useful so I could have been prepared. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask.
**Update: The bleeding has subsided quite a bit. I think the worst of it has passed…at least I hope so. I’m feeling much better now, just very tired since I didn’t get much sleep last night. Thanks to those who commented. I appreciate your support.
February 1, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. I know the pain is wretched and it is very much like the contractions that come with labor. The amount of blood can be scary, so watch that it isn’t too much and that you are not beginning to feel faint or dizzy.
I am thinking of you and hoping that this part can be over quickly. Go easy and take good care of yourself.
February 1, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Thank you for sharing your story.
If you’re still bleeding too much for pads, you may want to get some Depends or something to wear, and you can get some “Chux pads” to put down on the bed–they’re used for incontinent people who have to stay in bed, and are also used when house-training puppies. Make sure that you’re not losing too much blood–call your doctor to make sure the amount you’ve lost isn’t too much, and to ask for any signs you should look for to know if you’ve lost too much.
Kathy
February 1, 2008 at 2:57 pm
if you’re bleeding that much you should go to the Dr or the hospital. they say more than a pad or two and hour is considered hemoraging. I am sorry for your loss. Be careful you don’t pass out, and at least call your doctor and tell them how much you are bleeding.
February 1, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Ugh, I’m so sorry. I should have warned you better but I didn’t know it would be as bad as what I went through. Yes, it is very similar to labor only labor is less hopeless.
Please call your doctor. They will give you something so that you don’t bleed too much. (I got cytotec with my miscarriage, and I had a little bit of hemorraging after labor with Jack and had to get pitocin.)
Oh, and ibuprofen is a blood thinner so you might want to take something else.
*HUGS*
February 2, 2008 at 5:49 am
I’m so sorry! That sounds absolutely horrible and I hope you continue to feel better.
February 3, 2008 at 2:35 am
I am so sorry. I found your blog by googling PCOS, and after I read your entry from July I was hoping to read that you were pregnant. Miscarriage is such a devastating thing and I feel terrible that anyone has to go through it, especially when it means so much to someone to have a baby. I hope you feel better soon.
February 13, 2008 at 4:50 pm
That sounds awful. It’s just not fair that you had to go through this. Sometimes things just don’t make sense. *hugs*
March 2, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I am so sorry to hear about your pain, both physically and emotionally!!!
March 3, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Holly, I just found you today – good because, even tho’ we’re a few decades apart, you’re writing about what I’ve been thinking/going through these last few weeks. I’m heading to the doc’s tomorrow morning for Option 2 (medical intervention): I’ll be 8 weeks this Thurs but, like you, only a ges sac visible (since Week 5), which I learned when some cramping and pale bleeding sent me to the doc.
This is my 3rd miscarriage since Nov06; the 1st two didn’t even get this far — both previous times there were no sacs by Weeks 5 or 6, and my hCG never went very high nor doubled as it should. To complicate matters, we thot the 1st was ectopic because of the lack of sac, low hCG, and a very sharp, mystery pain in my right lower abdomen (a pain which has reappeared w/ each subsequent pregancy – yet still no explanation as to its cause). The first time ’round, with intensifying abdominal pain and cramping, I had another U/S @ Week 7 (still no sac) and an emergency lapro w/ D&C but the docs found nothing – false ectopic alarm. The 2nd time, nature took its course during Week 7 – it was painful, but bearable.
This time my hCG was doubling well, but detailed U/Ss at Weeks 5 and 6 clearly showed we’ve got ges sac but no yoke sac nor fetal heartbeat. I’ve had no cramping since my Week 5 scare, and my basal temp has remained high and consistent. Seems there is no quick, natural end in sight, so to resolve this one I’m taking medical action. For me, it’s just too heartbreaking to wait it out.
I support your decision to go it without medical intervention — been there — but can only imagine what kind of emotional mess I’d be in another 3 weeks. [On top of everything, I'm supposed to start a new job next week, so I've decided that I don't want the added stress of an emotionally draining waiting game (and utterly heartbreaking and overly emotional situation) intensifying everything else. So, again, I can relate: Life, work, school, don't stop for this. Wish they would, tho'.]
Your description above is graphic, yes, but very helpful because my doc told me that this one would be painful (she aims to prescribe vicadin)… maybe that will help w/ the tears, too. The closer I get to my appt tomorrow the more I sob. I thot the 1st loss was the hardest, but this one is definitely the worst emotionally.
I’m not getting any younger either (41 – when did that happen?); however, now that we’ve had 3 we can more actively move forward w/ the usual genetic testing (for my type of losses, chromosomes seem to be the culprit), etc., which we’ll start once I have my next “normal” period. I can’t even imagine what will come next, but have to keep looking forward. At some point, tho’, we’re going to have to stop… but where on the map does one put a pin for that?
I’m sorry for what you’ve been going through; I don’t wish it on anyone. I wish you all the very best and will be checking your pages to follow your progress. I hope to read good baby news soon. You’ve started early so you’ve definitely got time on your side. (I married in my early 30’s and we just weren’t ready to start a family. Ah, hindsight.)
Choosing to document your experiences and collect additional info is a great service for other would-be moms out there. It’s not easy exposing yourself or your life to the world, and you may even take a break or opt out later, but for now you’re making a difference with every keystroke. Thank you very much for that. Keep strong.
March 20, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. I too am going through a miscarriage. It sounds like you have the same exact pattern of instances as i have. It is so hard going through something like this, physically and emotionally. And i feel you on those cramps! i was curled up in a ball almost ready to cry. Not a good thing at all. I had a question for you about the gestational sac. I believe I expelled mine after the awful, painful cramps. I was just wondering what yours looked like so I can compare it to the one I found in my blood. My email is st07r@hotmail.com. Thank-you. And God-bless you through this devestating time. Take it easy!!
July 2, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Hi, I’ve also had a couple miscarriages, but when you start bleeding to heavily, here are some warning that its too much. Your chest can hurt, difficulties breathing, feeling faint, feeling weak. You need to see a Dr. or go to ER. It’s better to be safe then sorry. I’m sorry for your lost