it finally happened (warning: miscarriage described in detail) **Updated**

After about 12 weeks into my “pregnancy”, I am finally having my miscarriage.  I was beginning to wonder if my body would be able to do it on its own.

I have to say that it was much more painful than I had expected.  The doctor had led me to believe that it would be just a little worse than a period.  That is such an understatement!  I’ve known that it was coming for days now, because I started spotting this past weekend.  I woke up at 12:45 this morning with some bad cramps, so I took some ibuprofen thinking that might help them.  Silly me.  The cramps went from bad to absolutely horrible!    It’s nothing I have ever experienced before.  Nothing helped.  I tried laying down, sitting, curled up into a ball, walking, but they just kept getting worse.   At this point, I was passing huge clots of blood.  I googled to see if all this was normal, and others were comparing the cramps to labor pain…all I could think is if this is anything like labor, maybe I’m rethinking the whole natural birth thing.

After about two hours of this pain, I had started feeling very nauseous.  I decided I couldn’t deal with both cramps and nausea, so I decided to make myself throw up, hoping that would make me feel just a little better.  Well, every time I threw up, I felt a gushing of blood.  I knew I had went right through my pathetic overnight pads I had bought.  When I went to clean myself up, it was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen – the entire gestational sac had expelled itself during my retching episode (at least that what it looked like to me).  But…I felt 10 times better.  Apparently passing the gestational sac is the worst of it, and it was a stroke of luck that the pressure from throwing up helped push it out.  My cramps immediately dissipated.  I was actually able to go back to sleep!  ….for 2 hours until I woke up in a blood soaked bed.

The blood is now just pouring out, and I can’t even go to bed because of the rate I’m going through my pads.   I’ve ruined our sheets, multiple pairs of underwear, and a pair of sweatpants.  I’ve gotten a horrible 4 hours of sleep, I still have to go to school today, and my poor husband who was up taking care of me the whole time has to go to work (he just started his new job yesterday).   It’s just miserable.  The only thing I can be thankful for is that this happened while I was at home, rather than when I was at school.  I can honestly say I was not prepared for this.  That’s what I get for not doing my own research and just going by what the doctor said.

Sorry if the detail was a little much, but I figured that other women out there may want those type of details.  I know I would have found them useful so I could have been prepared.  If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask.

**Update: The bleeding has subsided quite a bit.  I think the worst of it has passed…at least I hope so.  I’m feeling much better now, just very tired since I didn’t get much sleep last night.  Thanks to those who commented.  I appreciate your support.

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27 Responses to “it finally happened (warning: miscarriage described in detail) **Updated**”

  1. twokayaks Says:

    Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. I know the pain is wretched and it is very much like the contractions that come with labor. The amount of blood can be scary, so watch that it isn’t too much and that you are not beginning to feel faint or dizzy.
    I am thinking of you and hoping that this part can be over quickly. Go easy and take good care of yourself.

  2. womantowomancbe Says:

    I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Thank you for sharing your story.

    If you’re still bleeding too much for pads, you may want to get some Depends or something to wear, and you can get some “Chux pads” to put down on the bed–they’re used for incontinent people who have to stay in bed, and are also used when house-training puppies. Make sure that you’re not losing too much blood–call your doctor to make sure the amount you’ve lost isn’t too much, and to ask for any signs you should look for to know if you’ve lost too much.

    Kathy

  3. christyna Says:

    if you’re bleeding that much you should go to the Dr or the hospital. they say more than a pad or two and hour is considered hemoraging. I am sorry for your loss. Be careful you don’t pass out, and at least call your doctor and tell them how much you are bleeding.

  4. ewokmama Says:

    Ugh, I’m so sorry. I should have warned you better but I didn’t know it would be as bad as what I went through. Yes, it is very similar to labor only labor is less hopeless.

    Please call your doctor. They will give you something so that you don’t bleed too much. (I got cytotec with my miscarriage, and I had a little bit of hemorraging after labor with Jack and had to get pitocin.)

    Oh, and ibuprofen is a blood thinner so you might want to take something else.

    *HUGS*

  5. Emily Says:

    I’m so sorry! That sounds absolutely horrible and I hope you continue to feel better.

  6. lauri Says:

    I am so sorry. I found your blog by googling PCOS, and after I read your entry from July I was hoping to read that you were pregnant. Miscarriage is such a devastating thing and I feel terrible that anyone has to go through it, especially when it means so much to someone to have a baby. I hope you feel better soon.

  7. Beth Says:

    That sounds awful. It’s just not fair that you had to go through this. Sometimes things just don’t make sense. *hugs*

  8. charne Says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your pain, both physically and emotionally!!!

  9. whatthewhat Says:

    Holly, I just found you today – good because, even tho’ we’re a few decades apart, you’re writing about what I’ve been thinking/going through these last few weeks. I’m heading to the doc’s tomorrow morning for Option 2 (medical intervention): I’ll be 8 weeks this Thurs but, like you, only a ges sac visible (since Week 5), which I learned when some cramping and pale bleeding sent me to the doc.

    This is my 3rd miscarriage since Nov06; the 1st two didn’t even get this far — both previous times there were no sacs by Weeks 5 or 6, and my hCG never went very high nor doubled as it should. To complicate matters, we thot the 1st was ectopic because of the lack of sac, low hCG, and a very sharp, mystery pain in my right lower abdomen (a pain which has reappeared w/ each subsequent pregancy – yet still no explanation as to its cause). The first time ’round, with intensifying abdominal pain and cramping, I had another U/S @ Week 7 (still no sac) and an emergency lapro w/ D&C but the docs found nothing – false ectopic alarm. The 2nd time, nature took its course during Week 7 – it was painful, but bearable.

    This time my hCG was doubling well, but detailed U/Ss at Weeks 5 and 6 clearly showed we’ve got ges sac but no yoke sac nor fetal heartbeat. I’ve had no cramping since my Week 5 scare, and my basal temp has remained high and consistent. Seems there is no quick, natural end in sight, so to resolve this one I’m taking medical action. For me, it’s just too heartbreaking to wait it out.

    I support your decision to go it without medical intervention — been there — but can only imagine what kind of emotional mess I’d be in another 3 weeks. [On top of everything, I'm supposed to start a new job next week, so I've decided that I don't want the added stress of an emotionally draining waiting game (and utterly heartbreaking and overly emotional situation) intensifying everything else. So, again, I can relate: Life, work, school, don't stop for this. Wish they would, tho'.]

    Your description above is graphic, yes, but very helpful because my doc told me that this one would be painful (she aims to prescribe vicadin)… maybe that will help w/ the tears, too. The closer I get to my appt tomorrow the more I sob. I thot the 1st loss was the hardest, but this one is definitely the worst emotionally.

    I’m not getting any younger either (41 – when did that happen?); however, now that we’ve had 3 we can more actively move forward w/ the usual genetic testing (for my type of losses, chromosomes seem to be the culprit), etc., which we’ll start once I have my next “normal” period. I can’t even imagine what will come next, but have to keep looking forward. At some point, tho’, we’re going to have to stop… but where on the map does one put a pin for that?

    I’m sorry for what you’ve been going through; I don’t wish it on anyone. I wish you all the very best and will be checking your pages to follow your progress. I hope to read good baby news soon. You’ve started early so you’ve definitely got time on your side. (I married in my early 30′s and we just weren’t ready to start a family. Ah, hindsight.)

    Choosing to document your experiences and collect additional info is a great service for other would-be moms out there. It’s not easy exposing yourself or your life to the world, and you may even take a break or opt out later, but for now you’re making a difference with every keystroke. Thank you very much for that. Keep strong.

  10. Stephanie Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I too am going through a miscarriage. It sounds like you have the same exact pattern of instances as i have. It is so hard going through something like this, physically and emotionally. And i feel you on those cramps! i was curled up in a ball almost ready to cry. Not a good thing at all. I had a question for you about the gestational sac. I believe I expelled mine after the awful, painful cramps. I was just wondering what yours looked like so I can compare it to the one I found in my blood. My email is st07r@hotmail.com. Thank-you. And God-bless you through this devestating time. Take it easy!!

  11. angie Says:

    Hi, I’ve also had a couple miscarriages, but when you start bleeding to heavily, here are some warning that its too much. Your chest can hurt, difficulties breathing, feeling faint, feeling weak. You need to see a Dr. or go to ER. It’s better to be safe then sorry. I’m sorry for your lost

  12. Sue Says:

    thank you for being so brave to write this on a webpage. i am going through the exact same thing right now and it helps me know that I am ok, I am still worried about bleeding to death though

  13. cassie Says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. yes a bit graphic but it was what i was looking for. This is my second miscarriage however the first one i was 5.5 months so i was at the hospital. this time they gave med meds and sent me home with a “i’m going to give you vicodin however you could just take tylenol” Like you i was very unprepaired! I took the pills at 1 pm. today, and I am bleeding very heavy at the moment and i started to panic. (the worst started about an hour ago) I have been going through 1 heavy flow every 10-15 minutes.

  14. Harvest Moon Says:

    I want to thank you very much for posting this, and for leaving it up so long for people like me to find. I am in the middle of a miscarriage right now, and I feel like my doctor totally did not prepare me for the pain and amount of bleeding. I’ve been worried that I’m not doing the right thing by not going to the Dr, but your post and everyone’s comments is helping me feel calmer about it. My Dr knows I’m miscarrying and it was expected, so I’d rather not go in unless it’s an actual emergency.

    Thanks again for helping me find a little peace of mind!

  15. Donna Says:

    Thanks for posting this. I’ve been really worried this weekend that I was bleeding too much. I have had two miscarriges before but both were expelled with an abortion drug. I thought this time I could let it go naturally and it wouldn’t be as bad – oh was I wrong. For two weeks I have been passing small clots and then this weekend the big bleed got me, and just like others, I thought I would bleed forever. I too took ibuprofen :-( When one is in such a horrible state, reading that you are not alone is comforting – again, thanks for posting this.

  16. Karen Says:

    I’m one more person who wants to thank you for the detail on this. Most people are too concerned with niceties to get into the detail. With this topic, the detail is paramount.

    I, too, had always thought that a miscarriage was just like a heavier period with bigger clots. For years I’d had 12 fairly large fibroids (since removed), so I’m pretty sure I know what a pretty heavy period and what big clots are. I thought I was prepared.

    Nope. Miscarriage — at least at 10 weeks — is nothing like “a really heavy period”.

    It’s more like the bucket of blood in the movie “Carrie”.

    I found this site this evening, but I started miscarrying this morning (at 10 weeks — embryo was confirmed to not have a heartbeat at 8 weeks), right before a d&c which was scheduled for this afternoon.

    I had no idea the miscarriage pain and quantity of blood would be so awful. The pain was the worst cramps I’d ever had, but the blood was what really freaked me out. Anytime I’d cleaned myself up, I’d, for lack of a better word, rain blood all over everything again — soooo gross.

    If I find myself in this position again, I’m going to get the d&c as quickly as possible. It wasn’t possible this time due to back to back scheduling conflicts between me and my doc.

    A couple of things I learned
    1. Vicodin helps (but doesn’t eliminate) the pain. It helped me function which I don’t think I could have without it.

    2. If you are gushing blood, you should probably check in with your doctor and explain the quantity of blood you are passing (they’ll want to know how fast you soak a pad). When my doc saw how much blood was coming out of me, he rushed to have my d&c done earlier.

    Compared to everything else this morning, the d&c was a breeze. I had some cramps when I woke up, but Vicodin eliminated them. 8 hours later (and no additional pain killers) the only pain I have is a mild headache. Also, the blood is almost down to spotting level.

  17. Christine Says:

    I also want to thank you for posting your unfortunate experience for others to see and learn from. I just miscarried tonight at just over 11 weeks. 3rd pregnancy, 1st miscarriage and I did it the natural way I suppose. It was pretty awful and I definitely prefer labour over that. Your post helped me know that what I just went through is normal and also to expect the heavy bleeding afterwards, so I wasn’t quite so freaked out (it just so happened that I read your post moments before the first post-foetal huge gush of blood happened).

    Between the bleeding, cramping, clots, crying, saying hello and good-bye to the little foetus (yes, I saw it. That’s when I totally lost it), heavy bleeding, sweating and nearly passing out, I’ve become so exhausted. I can’t even get the energy to clean up the blood on the floor right now. It was all I could do to make something to eat (which is helping the faintness from the blood loss). I just want to say that I hope you’ve either had success since posting this, or will soon.

  18. Shoosie Says:

    I miscarried last week, was 9 weeks, but no development after 6 weeks. So my Doctor said it would be like a heavy period, I couldn’t believe it was far worse (even when I specifically asked her if it was going to be gruesome). I too passed and saw the little sac, it was really horrible, heartbreaking and awful to go through. Why aren’t Obstetricians/Doctors more honest about what “really” happens??? I think I would have coped much better if I knew what was going to happen. I am so pleased to have read all of these posts. It’s brought some normalcy into the situation and I feel relief to know I’m not alone : ) thanks!

  19. ihsan Says:

    I have been miscarrying since yesterday. The pain is like nothing I have ever felt and I have drenched 3 towel, underwears and some pants. Have never seen so much blood in my life. And when the fetus passed and then the sac a few hrs later, it was the most heartbreaking thing I ever been through. Pain is still horrible and I think I should go to hospital but in too much pain and feel way too weak for that.

  20. jessica Says:

    Thank you so much for sharing, im going through the same thing right now at 8 1/2 weeks. I also wasn’t prepared for the pain or the amount of blood. But I would still rather go through this naturally and at home than have a d & d

  21. Burt Says:

    I lost my baby at 8 weeks 5 weeks ago.. 2 weeks ago i went for my first u/s to find out how my baby was doing only to find out my baby had no heart beat.. The pain of hearing those words r like no other, to have names picked out , plans made ! N its ripped away from u.. Like no other i had the option of passing the baby naturally, thru pills or a d n c.. I chose the pills. I took the 4 pils exactly a week ago today, thinking the baby was supposed to pass thru that day i didnt think the pain was that bad .. There was lots of tissue getting pased thru but nothing to alarming.. Just yesterday is when i had my baby. On vacation, i realized i was having extremely bad cramping and severe bleeding i was bleeding thru 4 pads super* within the hour.. There was blood all over my hotel room .. All the way to the hospital i bled thru my pad thru my panties thru my pants.. Finally the nurse put a diaper on me and cleaned me up as well .. 10 min before this i passed my placenta which look like a cotton ball wrapped in saran wrap with an opening at the end.. Scariest thing ive seen.. When i was in the hospital room as i was getting up to use the bathroom i felt the biigeat gush of something fall out of me, felt like the size of a cantaloupe falling out of me .. Blood was everywhere by this time i had bled thru 4 diapers,, wat i had passed was the fetus.. The doctors said it was the size of a large softball , theyve sent it away to go get tested, im rly quite scared that my baby was still alive.. My gyno said the baby was only sipposed to b 8 mm .. To b the size of a soft ball doesnt feel right to me.. No one sjould ever haveto go thru this sort of pain or heart break , this sticks with u forever and ever. I pray for all u mothers out there who have loved and lost.

  22. zebabanene Says:

    I’m going through a miscarriage at home now, just started bleeding this afternoon. I went through my first miscarriage several months ago and passed the gestational sac at home, but not completely, so I went to the ER. If I pass everything naturally at home this time, what do I do with the fetus and do I take it to the hospital or to my doctor?

  23. Ally Says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for posting your experience, even if it may be graphic, because I too was nowhere near prepared for how horrible my miscarriage was. I’m going to post my experience here, just in case there are any others out there who were not informed of how gruesome and terrifying it can be.

    I was 13 weeks pregnant but the fetus stopped developing at 7 weeks. I scheduled a D&C, but due to some scheduling conflicts and inclement weather, it ended up being pushed back two weeks. My doctor nonchalantly said I may start bleeding prior to the procedure, but he made it sound like no big deal, and I naively believed him. One night a few days before the procedure, I started to lightly cramp and bleed, but then within an hour, the cramping developed into something that I could only describe as labor. I was curled up in fetal position, trying to deep breathe, with tears rolling down my face. I tried to massage my abdomen, I took ibuprofen and tylenol, but absolutely nothing helped. I noticed the pain came in waves like prolonged, closely timed contractions. Along with the pain came an overwhelming feeling of nausea and a massive amount of blood. With every “contraction” I could feel blood and tissue gushing out. Pads and underwear were being soaked through within 15 minutes. I finally gave up and just sat on the toilet while blood poured out of me. I had to try to take a shower for work, so I lay in the tub, letting the water spray hit my belly, and the blood go down the drain. That was probably the best relief I got from everything I tried. I finally had to try to get dressed, and put on a heavy pad, however, while walking to work, I felt the blood soak through my pants and drip down into my socks and shoes. I was on a fairly busy street, and all I could do was tie my sweater around my waist and try to make it back home as quickly as possible. Luckily, when I got home, and cleaned myself up, the bleeding and pain had subsided enough so I could get to work without it soaking through my clothes again. The whole hemorrhaging episode lasted probably 5 hours in total.

    I went to my D&C anyway, just to make sure all the fetal tissue was gone. I had read that if you go ahead with a solely natural miscarriage, there is a possibility you can retain fetal tissue, and prolong the miscarriage for weeks. I was totally over the whole ordeal and wanted it done with as soon as possible. The bleeding after the D&C was very minimal and I had no pain during or after (I was placed under sedation). I was extremely fatigued for weeks, which I think was likely due to anemia. The only upside was that I finally felt like I could eat normally again.

    The whole ordeal left me feeling so helpless. At the time you’re really not sure if it’s normal or if you should be terrified, and honestly, I’m still not sure. I do know that if this situation ever happens again, I am going to demand a same day or next day procedure. I am never going through that misery again.

  24. Carol Allison Says:

    Hi ladies, I started bleeding brown blood on & off for a few days, GP referred me to EPU for a scan but by then the blood was red but still only bleeding lightly. The day of the scan I should of been 8 weeks & 5 days. I had an abdominal scan & an internal scan, all they could see was a 6 week gestation sac but no baby. My husband & I was devastated, we just couldn’t get our heads round the idea of there being no baby. I cried all day & just didn’t feel like eating. The next day I had what i’d describe as labour contractions but not as bad but I was nearly crying in pan which lasted most of the day. The next day I could feel my womb contracting but it wasn’t as bad as the day before. All of a sudden I just felt something was there & I just felt a pop & a big gush which i’m assuming was my waters breaking, there was just loads of blood but no clots & then half an hour later I went the toilet thinking i’ll be fine trying to have a pee but the contractions came back whilst sitting on the loo & then loads of blood & clots gushed out of me again. I still had the contractions for a few hours after but the bleeding settled down a bit but i’m still passing small clots 4 days later

  25. Emily Banks Says:

    I have had 2 natural miscarriages before both of my pregnancy. My first was the worst, at our 8 weeks u/s my baby was the size of a 5 week. I was sent straight back to the dr who told me what to expect, 2 days later it started very slowly, we were on our way to the Gold Coast for the weekend whilst out for dinner the bleeding got so heavy, I could not eat my meal & had gone completely white & faint. I was carried out of the restaurant whilst back at the hotel I was physically sick I had not been expecting this also & rang the 13health no. after some questions the nurse advised me to go straight to the hospital (Friday night at the Gold Coast) once there I was put in a bed straight away as they were going to get me some morphine, I had an almighty need to go to the toilet, I had the biggest shock of my life. I had passed the sac & it was in my undies, I had started screaming, a cleaner & my husband had come in. I wish I had never had to experience this but even more i wish i had of been at a more private place we were ushered out the door 20 mins later. It was very disturbing for my husband as well. I went on to have a healthy baby boy 11 months on :)
    My second was at 5 weeks & just like a late period with heavy cramps & some clotting. I went on to have a healthy baby girl 12 months later. All in all I wish I had something like your blog to help me through, though everyone will have i slightly different experience. I would not wish the physical or mental pain on anyone.
    I read your blog whilst googling an early period as I am currently 1 week early & hoping its just my cycle syncing with something & not something more.

  26. Sabrina Says:

    I’m waiting for a miscarriage.. But my doctor said I didn’t get pregnant really.. There was something in the ultra sound at 8weeks but by the next week it was gone.. But my uterus is still growing and giving me horrible dizzy spells… I can barely walk 5feet without not wanting to pass out… How long can I expect to be “pregnant” before my body decides to miscarry??? (I think when that happens I will admit to myself I’m not pregnant, because, I guess, I want to be) on top of waiting for a misscarriage.. I had had a uterine ablation 4 years ago.. And for some odd reason to my doctor my uterus has thicken up to much.. And I’m wondering if it will have an effect on me misscarrying.. Will it be worse? I forgot to ask my doctor.. I sort of went a little shell shock when she told me my baby is no more..

  27. suzi Says:

    I went to drs 4 weeks ago with brown blood loss. At 8 weeks pregnant he referred me to epu. There internal scan done at 9weeks dated me at 6 weeks – I had to go back 10 days later to check this. The next scan done at 11w5days showed no growth and no baby. I went for the natural miscarriage as prior to this pregnancy I miscarried at 5 weeks and this was like a heavy period with slightly worse cramping. Dr told me this is what to expect with this one. Two days later I woke in the early hours with incredibly painful cramping and it felt like everything was pulling away, I didn’t take painkillers as I wanted the physical pain to distract from the emotional. A few hours later I passed the sac, this was the size of an orange and obv the sac, I wasn’t prepared for this, the drs do not warn you and it has been horrible. My blood loss has mostly been into the toilet and has been alot , however I have not soaked pads or clothes, I have nearly passed out twice though and the bleeding continues 2 days later with some clots. I thought as the pregnancy stopped developing at 6 weeks it would be the same as the mc at 5 weeks – not the case. I don’t understand as I have 3 children without any problems and now 2 miscarriages back to back, I am scared to try again but at the same time feel the need to. This is with a new partner, maybe we are not compatible, or there is something wrong with our genetics and sadly no way of finding out unless I suffer a third mc. Not that this can happen when I find I can’t be near him, I don’t know what is going on in my head, he isn’t even speaking to me now coz I told him quite bluntly to go away and leave me alone.


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