idea for a t-shirt

Why is it that one of the most common questions for a married couple is “so when are you planning on having kids?”.  I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked the question since marrying Mike, and I’ve always given the same exact response: eventually.  A little over a year ago, “eventually” meant I haven’t decided, so somewhere in an unknown future…it’s taken on the new meaning now.  I still say eventually, but now it means “when I get in for an IVF cycle, and it works”.  Funny how things change.  I’m thinking of making myself a t-shirt that says “don’t ask, we’re infertile”.

moving along

Let’s see, where to start…Well, ever since we found out about the results from the urologist, we’ve been making plans to do IVF.  I called the IVF clinic to schedule the orientation, which is in about one month.  It seems so long away, but I’m actually glad because it gives me time to get my things in order.  The orientation is the last thing before we get put on the waiting list, and there is a very very very small chance that we could get in for the October cycle.  I’m not counting on it, but I want to be prepared just in case.  I also pulled myself out of that class I was supposed to go to in September.  I want my schedule to be open for any appointments they need me to go to.

 The IVF clinic requires a male evaluation, so Mike has another semen analysis scheduled for next monday, at which time we have to hand over a $365 check that will be applied towards our IVF cycle.  **On a side note, you would think they would put us on the waiting list at that point, but they don’t**  The IVF secretary that scheduled it said that this test is more in depth, which I think refers to looking at all aspects of the sperm, including motility, morphology, volume of sperm in ejaculation, among other things.  I think the last two only looked at his sperm count per millileter.  Seems like a waste to me – you would think they’d just do it all at once.  It’ll be interesting to see what they come back with.    The results of the male evaluation will determine the cost, which is anywhere between $4000-$6200.  Unless Mike all of a sudden started producing more sperm, our cost is going to be $6200, because we have to do IVF w/ ICSI.  That’s fine by me, because I’ve read several things that say ICSI is more succesful than standard IVF.

Anyway, the orientation is a 4 hour presentation explaining the whole process, which is going to be a lot redundant for me.  I’ve done so much research on this topic that hardly anything I read is new to me anymore.  I even found the powerpoint presentation that they give during the orientation and read through that last night.  Still though, it will be nice to meet others going through the same thing, and maybe I’ll even meet a couple who’s been through it before.  I don’t know if it’s appropriate, but I wouldn’t mind exchanging email addresses with some of the other women.

Other than the orientation, there is one more thing that needs to be scheduled, which is a genetic counciling.  It’s not mandatory, but they highly encourage it for severe male infertility.  A nurse is supposed to call us 2 days before the orientation to see if we need it scheduled.  The genetic counciling consists of tests for genetic diseases that could be passed on to our child, such as cystic fibrosis.  It’s different than the biopsy, which Mike still hasn’t decided on.  I’m crossing my fingers that they don’t find anything, because that would just complicate matters further – and we certainly don’t need any more bad news.

About a month after the orientation, a financial coordinator is supposed to contact us to discuss payment.  I was told that once I receive that call, the payment is due, which kind of confuses me.  What if I don’t get into a cycle until January?  Why should I have to pay so far in advance?  We can come up with the money, but it would be nice to have a little more time.  We’re currently looking into selling a timeshare we own in Vegas (impulse buy when we got married, pretty stupid), and I’m hoping we can get enough back to pay for up to 2 IVF cycles.  I’m still trying to find a good company to sell it through, so we haven’t put it on the market yet.  I plan on putting it on the market for lower than the market value so it will sell faster, but I’m guessing it will still take a few months.  I just feel lucky that we are at least halfway covered with IVF through the military, because I don’t know how people afford this otherwise.

That’s about covers what I know for now, although I’m sure there will be more soon.  I’ll update again when we get the results back from Mike’s test on monday.

update from urologist

Mike had a phone consult with the urologist today…the results came back that he is healthy (good) and that they have no idea what is causing his low sperm count (bad).  I can’t say I am surprised.  The urologist said there is one more thing they could do in order to determine the cause, which is a biopsy, but that wouldn’t mean that there would be a cure.  He said it is possible it is genetic, and the biopsy would show if that was the case.  I told Mike it is solely his decision if he wants to get the biopsy done, since it is an invasive procedure into his genitals (he’d have to have surgery done on his testicle to gather the cells for testing).  Mike told the urologist he’d have to think about it and get back to him if he wanted to go that route.

So, what does this mean for us?  It means that we’re going to have to do IVF, surprise surprise.  I’m calling my RE on monday to have the results of all my lab tests faxed over to the IVF clinic so that I can get the orientation scheduled.  Then I guess we’ll see from there.

NYC promotes breastfeeding

I wrote a post a while back about how I had decided to breastfeed my baby if I didn’t have any supply issues (which is possible, especially since I have PCOS).  I used to think that breastfeeding was not much different than formula, that it was just a lifestyle choice.  But after my sister had my nephew Jack, she taught me a lot about the benefits of breast milk.  She’s been breastfeeding for over a year now, which I find so awesome, especially since she works full time.  It takes a lot of love and commitment to keep it up for that long, even for stay at home moms.  I used to think it was just weird to breastfeed longer than 6 months until I saw my nephew Jack breastfeeding.  It’s the most natural thing in the world.  I was having a conversation with oneo of my male coworker’s the other day about his baby, and he mentioned that his wife had breastfed for 6 months.  I mentioned that my sister breastfeeds my 1 year old nephew, and he gave me this look of shock and said “isn’t it time to call it quits?”  This is the mentality that most people have towards breastfeeding.

This is why I whole-heartedly support NYC’s new law passed that bans formula promotion materials from labor and delivery units in hospitals.  You can read about it here.  Before this law was passed, unsolicited formula gift bags were given to mothers who had just given birth, with free samples of formula for the new mother.  This was regardless of whether the mother had chosen to breastfeed or not.  With this new law passed, bags are still given to mothers, except they contain a breast milk bottle cooler, disposable nursing pads, breastfeeding tips and an “I eat at mom’s” baby t-shirt.  For mothers who either decide or have to formula feed, the formula gift bags are still available if they ask for it.

The problem is, you have assholes who just like to get a rise out of people who write articles like this one.  The author, Andrea Peyser, made it sound like the formula bags were completely banned, and that the hospitals were unreasonably trying to push breastfeeding on new mothers.  She referred to it as a bad thing that a new mother was steered towards breastfeeding by a nurse who told her it had more nutritional benefits.  Oh, it’s so terrible that the mother will save money and provide the best food supply for her baby!  She claimed that some people silently think that we have “we’ve moved back in time”.  I feel sorry for whoever thinks that something man made is much better than something our body naturally produces, and that we are moving back in time by choosing natural methods for feeding children.  The fact of the matter is, while formula will provide enough nutrition for babies to thrive, it doesn’t have nearly as much nutrients and benefits as breast milk.  Not only that, formula costs money, while breast milk does not (if you can produce your own).  So of course breast milk should be promoted over formula.  Should it be forced on mothers? No.  But it should be highly encouraged.  I also think that every mother should be encouraged to attend an educational course that teaches them the differences between breast milk and formula. 

 My favorite comment from Ms. Peyser is this:

“We’ll see if the next generation is smarter, healthier and stronger than the last one.

Or, if stressed-out mommies killed themselves for nothing.”

Wow, I didn’t realized that hospitals followed the moms around after they left the hospitals to force them to continue breastfeeding (can you sense my sarcasm?).  Moms who feel like it’s too much to breastfeed have the opportunity to buy formula.  I thought her closing sentence was a bit dramatic, which is exactly what she meant to do.  I guess she’ll twist the facts any way she can in order to get readers.

yuck!

I’m sick with a cold and it sucks.  I felt it coming on Monday morning, and then I progressively have been getting worse.  I haven’t gotten to the point where things start to turn around and symptoms start to lessen.  What makes it worse is that I haven’t been sick enough to stay home from work, so I have to sit at work with feeling misearable with a stuffy/runny nose, sore throat, and headache.

Anyway, I called and left the IVF clinic a message today telling them that I wanted to schedule an orientation.  I’m hoping to get it scheduled for the later part of this month or very early September.  I’m not sure how often they schedule them, but I want to get on the list so if it’s determined we have to go through with IVF, we might make it to the January cycle.  My only concern is that we may be wasting $400 if IVF ends up as an unnecessary step, but when it comes down to it, that’s money I’m willing to lose.

Mike’s still having a hard time rescheduling his appointment with the urologist.  He called on Monday and there was a fill in secretary who tried to schedule him for the 20th, which I find absolutely ridiculous!  I don’t understand how can they cancel an appointment on him and then bump him to the bottom of the list?  He tried explaining to the guy that the appointment had been canceled on him, but since the guy was just filling in, he didn’t know what to do.  Mike said he would call back in a few days when the regular lady returned to try to reschedule.  I told him he should just ask for a phone consult if they insist on scheduling the appointment so far away.  As long as the doctor doesn’t want to reexamine him or have him take any more tests during the appointment, I don’t see why it can’t be a discussion held over the phone.  I guess we’ll see what they say.